Proverbs 13: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

I have been in the process of reading a book called, Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches, by Russell D. Moore. Moore has written a fantastic book about our adoption into Christ's family and relates it to adopting children into your earthly family. During one chapter, he does explain some issues that come up through the adoption process, one of them being the social stigma attached to discipline. Social workers will inspect every aspect of your life when you are planning to adopt. Although they mean well, many social workers have ungodly views of discipline. Chapter thirteen of Proverbs gives us several key verses that provide a guide to the proper means to discipline a child.

Proverbs 13:24 says, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." This is a commonly known proverb (and also misquoted), but nonetheless important. Corporal punishment, used properly, is one of the most effective ways to teach children at an early age. It teaches rules, boundaries and generally right from wrong. And as children get older, corporal punishment is less useful because they learn to rationalize and think for themselves. Teaching and speaking wisely to a child is more productive past toddler years, as well as, making sure your child has the opportunity to learn from the situation. Proverbs 13:1 says, "A wise son [heareth] his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke." First, this verse puts a lot of pressure on the father. It is a big task, for sure, but worth the investment. Plus, we have God's Word to guide us. Second, and more importantly, this verse assumes that the father is giving instruction (or that the instruction is worth listening too). It is a commonly known fact that fathers are absent in the homes, and when present, are less than useful. This is a disgrace to God, His plan for fathers and fatherhood, and a handicap to our children. We need to, as men, pray that we will be godly fathers and have the wisdom to provide godly instruction to our kids.

This is easy to say and hard to do. And, as a personal disclaimer, I don't have kids (yet). If raising and teaching children in a godly manner is completely foreign or intimidating to you, get help! Proverbs 13:20 says, "He that walketh with wise [men] shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." Find a godly man who has grown kids and whose kids are well behaved. Talk to them, get advice. Then, go find a godly man who has a rebellious child and ask him how he works through the issues. But know this - you are not alone and the fight for you kids is worth fighting.

I hope you pray for your kids everyday. And if you don't have kids, pray for your potential kids or someone else's kids. In today's time, with all of the outside influences kids face, they need as much prayer as possible.